Sex after 50: What Sex Is Truly Like in Your 50s, 60s, and 70s

Sex — and sexual responses — evolve as people age through their 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond. However, this doesn’t mean intimate relationships must change for the worse. For some, sex after 50 gets even better.

“Sex has no expiration date,” says Northern California sex educator Joan Price. She has written five books on sex for older adults. “The idea is to expand the concept of what good sex is. I know many older adults who say they are having the best sex ever because they don’t narrowly define what sex is. There are so many options to choose from.” Indeed, sex after 50 can be an enriching experience.

Navigating the sexual landscape in later life can be tricky. Age-related issues like vaginal dryness, erection challenges, and low libido often arise. Additionally, medical conditions such as arthritis, a bad back, and sore joints can also affect sex after 50.

However, sexual wellness professionals emphasize that there are solutions for almost every problem. With the right approach, a fulfilling sex life can be lifelong. Here’s how to achieve satisfying sex after 50.

Sex in your 50s: A critical decade

​Sexual challenges such as painful intercourse and difficulty with erections begin to surface in your 50s, issues that if left unspoken and untended can alter the course of your sex life.

“Sex is not over when challenges arise,” says Price. This is the time to speak candidly with your partner about your sexual needs and changes. If concerns aren’t addressed, she notes, relationship issues can become clouded in silence.

In their 50s, most men still feel vigorous. However, they may notice their erections aren’t as firm, and testosterone, a critical hormone, is on the decline. This age can be a critical time for women. On average, they begin menopause at 51. Vaginal dryness and low libido often become issues. This can lead to what Price calls a “desire discrepancy” between partners. Consequently, sexual intimacy can be thrown into peril.

Almost 90 percent of postmenopausal women experience pain during penetrative sex, according to Marilyn Jerome, M.D., a gynecologist with Foxhall OB/GYN Associates in Washington, D.C. This pain is often due to vaginal atrophy or dryness. Fortunately, this condition is treatable. A 2019 study published in the journal Menopause found that nearly 71 percent of women ages 40 to 55, who had not yet entered menopause, experienced vaginal atrophy and a sharp drop in sexual function. Thus, addressing these issues is crucial for maintaining a fulfilling sex life after 50.

Jerome encourages women in their 50s to use over-the-counter lubricants during sex. For more effective results, she often prescribes vaginal estrogen cream, which helps plump up the vaginal walls. Many women worry about breast cancer risks and avoid vaginal estrogen. However, Jerome assures that they shouldn’t. She only avoids prescribing it to women being treated for breast cancer and taking aromatase inhibitors. Maintaining a healthy sex life after 50 is possible with these options.

If a lack of desire arises, as it often does in your 50s, Price suggests practicing “responsive” arousal. This type of arousal is driven by physical touch rather than relying on spontaneous, hormonal desire.

She advises, “If you let yourself enjoy the pleasure of slowly becoming physically aroused by being touched or other kinds of stimulation, the desire will follow.” This approach can help maintain a fulfilling sex life after 50. “And this is something that can be yours lifelong,” she adds.

Sex in your 60s: Meet the challenge

​Left unspoken and untended, sexual challenges that naturally emerge with age can derail one’s love life. Centreville, Maryland, gynecologist Lisa Webb, M.D., says, “If you’ve stopped talking about sex after 60, you’ve probably stopped having it.” Webb urges couples to be “intentional” about sex. She asks, “What do you need? What does your partner need?” The mechanics don’t matter as long as you feel fulfilled. Sex and intimacy can still be rich and rewarding, especially when discussing your needs openly. This approach is essential for maintaining a satisfying sex life after 50.

In their 60s, many men face erection challenges. This may cause them to withhold affection. “They don’t want to start what they can’t finish,” says urologist Abraham Morgentaler, M.D., author of The Truth About Men and Sex: Intimate Secrets From the Doctor’s Office. A common solution is Viagra and its competitors, which Morgentaler calls some of the “most studied pills on the planet.”

Additionally, medications can be injected directly into the penis before sex. “It sounds awful, but it’s really easy,” Morgentaler adds. Erections usually last 20 minutes to two hours. Other options include vacuum devices, surgical procedures, and new treatments involving sonic wave energy and a platelet-rich plasma injectable. These treatments can help maintain a fulfilling sex life after 50.

Pain during intercourse remains a concern in this decade, similar to issues faced by postmenopausal women in their 50s, notes Jerome. This condition can be addressed with lubricants, creams, and vaginal estrogen supplements.

If your desire is lacking, as it often does in your 60s, Price recommends adopting “responsive” arousal.

Sex after 70: A changing landscape

​Many couples 70 and older will find successful and satisfying ways of being sexual with each other that differ from the sex they enjoyed when they were younger.​

“If you ask someone in their 70s what they mean by having sex, they often describe activities that don’t involve intercourse,” explains Price, who is 79. “By removing the focus on intercourse, you discover numerous ways to give and receive pleasure.”

In their 70s, more than two-thirds of men encounter difficulties with erections — yet this doesn’t hinder their ability to achieve orgasms, according to Morgentaler. “While erections may not be as firm, men still have the capacity to reach orgasm without one,” he emphasizes. “This is something many men are unaware of.”

Achieving or maintaining an erection can become challenging as men age. Treatments such as prescribed medications, injections, and testosterone supplements are often effective remedies. “I’ve treated many patients in their 80s and 90s who continue to lead active sexual lives,” notes Morgentaler. “Sexuality should be celebrated at any age.”

Jerome frequently recommends vibrators to her patients as a way to enhance pleasure and intimacy. “It’s important to embrace pleasure and explore self-pleasure. Sexual enjoyment can continue well into your 80s or 90s, with numerous ways to stay connected.”

Some older couples find it difficult to discuss sex due to societal taboos during their upbringing. However, Price emphasises that it’s never too late to communicate openly with your partner about your sexual needs.

“Maintain an ongoing dialogue so that you feel comfortable suggesting changes like different positions or adjustments for comfort,” she advises. “The couples who have the most fulfilling sex are those who communicate openly and regularly.”