The concept of a friend with benefits relationship is gaining mainstream acceptance. In fact, studies indicate that over half of young adults have experienced it.
So, here’s the deal, guys: this means many women are enthusiastic about this arrangement. The trick is knowing where to look and how to approach them.
Having travelled solo worldwide for five years, a friend with benefits relationship has been my primary commitment. Luckily, I’ve become skilled in managing these dynamics. Now, I’m ready to share my insights. In this guide, I’ll teach you how to find a friend with benefits and keep them hooked.
What Is A Friend With Benefits?
A Friend With Benefits is essentially a friend you have sex with, without any commitment or romantic expectations, just like your other friends.
You likely spend time together and enjoy each other’s company beyond just sex, because you’re friends.
However, there’s no set expectation on how often you’ll hang out, because, well, you’re just friends.
And remember, being just friends means not getting jealous if they’re with someone else.
The definition is straightforward. The challenge (for many guys) lies in finding a woman who’s willing to agree to these terms, especially on dating sites.
Where To Find A Friend With Benefits
It’s common knowledge that some men befriend women hoping for more. The issue arises when women see you strictly as a friend—it’s tough to change that perception. That’s why escaping ‘the friendzone’ is notoriously challenging.
To broaden your options, consider expanding beyond your current social circle. Dating sites can be a viable solution, provided you have an appealing profile. Opt for platforms known for casual encounters, like Adult Friend Finder, rather than those geared towards serious relationships like eHarmony.
If you’re up for something daring, consider checking out swingers or sex parties. Many of these events require couples or a pre-existing FWB to attend. However, once you’re there, you’ll never struggle to meet new friends with benefits again.
What To Say To A Potential Friend With Benefits
So, you’ve caught the eye of a woman who’s interested in you. What’s the next step? Here are my tips for smoothly introducing the friend with benefits concept.
Firstly, honesty is crucial. Don’t pretend to want just friendship or mislead her into thinking you’re seeking a serious relationship. Be upfront about your intentions from the start.
Being honest ensures transparency and avoids misunderstandings later on. It also increases the chances of finding a woman who’s looking for the same type of arrangement as you on dating sites or elsewhere.
That being said, it’s important to clarify why you’re not seeking a serious relationship at the moment. You might be prioritizing your career or studies, recovering from a breakup, or even traveling the world like I am. Providing a relatable reason prevents you from being seen as someone who doesn’t value those they’re intimate with.
When navigating the dating scene for a friends with benefits setup, your approach matters. Some experts suggest stating your intentions upfront, while others advise waiting for her to inquire. My recommendation? Adjust your behaviour to clearly signal you’re not seeking a serious commitment.
Avoid being overly romantic, investing too deeply, or becoming possessive and judgmental. Instead, focus on enjoying each other’s company without the pressure of forming a serious bond. This approach naturally filters out women seeking long-term relationships while appealing to others interested in a more casual arrangement on dating sites or elsewhere.
This approach also helps you sidestep the uncomfortable “what are we?” conversation. Many women are open to casual relationships but may hesitate to admit it openly. Societal norms can make it challenging for them to justify such arrangements without facing judgment. Therefore, most friends-with-benefits relationships operate on unspoken agreements. If anyone asks your FWB about your relationship, she’ll typically describe you as “just a friend.”
She has to see the benefits of an FWB relationship
Finding a friend with benefits can be tricky if some women are eager for marriage and kids. However, there are plenty of women who are in between serious relationships. Maybe they’re moving soon or recovering from a breakup. These women are often open to the idea without much convincing.
For those in the middle, it’s about highlighting the benefits. No rules, no expectations, and no judgment. Show them you’re great in bed and more fun than other men in their lives. This often leads to them agreeing to whatever terms you propose.
How To Keep Your Friend With Benefits
Most friends with benefits understand that their arrangement has an expiry date. However, it’s satisfying to maintain an FWB for as long as it works.
The main risk is developing romantic feelings. When one person starts to feel emotionally attached, jealousy and pain can arise, leading to pressure to change the terms. This often results in a decision to commit or end the arrangement.
To prevent your FWB from developing feelings, consider these strategies.
To maintain a successful FWB arrangement, follow these guidelines:
- Limit your time together: Regular hangouts can intensify emotions.
- Avoid vulnerability: Keep the relationship light and fun; share deeper feelings with others.
- Skip romantic gestures: Treat them as a friend outside the bedroom to avoid sparking romantic feelings.
- Avoid cuddling or sleepovers: Physical intimacy can lead to bonding and attachment.
- Keep dates private: Talking about other dates can provoke jealousy and complications.
- Steer clear of future talk: Don’t hint at a deeper relationship if it’s not what you want.
- Excel in bed and be fun: These qualities will keep your FWB interested and satisfied.
Following these rules will also help you avoid catching feelings, which can jeopardize your friends-with-benefits arrangement, especially if your partner isn’t looking for anything serious.
Another risk is your Friend With Benefits developing feelings for someone else. If another person offers them a committed relationship, they may decide to end things with you. To safeguard against this, focus on being as enjoyable and impressive as you can be.
When a friends-with-benefits relationship ends, it can be tough, especially if feelings are involved. However, the majority of FWBs can successfully transition back to being just friends without lingering negativity. Honesty and maintaining emotional distance are crucial for this transition to work smoothly.
Being upfront prevents misunderstandings and anger. Keeping emotional distance helps avoid developing deeper romantic feelings.
